Before starting, I would like to congratulate two of my cousins, Anuj and Abhinav, who are all set to get married!! It's going to be a love marriage for Anuj and an arranged one for Abhinav.
Talking about love and arranged marriages, I would like to share some recent incidents. Nearly one week back, I would have added another name to the list above, that of my cousin S. Few days back, he got a marriage proposal(for arranged marriage) through some of his distant relatives. Initially he was quite hesitant to meet the girl thinking about family pressure, whether he would like her or not, whether she would like him or not, etc etc. When he finally met the girl, she turned out to be above his expectations. She was pretty, sweet, soft-spoken and seemed quite family-oriented. Seemingly even she liked S. They talked for nearly two-three hours and asked for a day's time to say final yes or no. As it was quite evident from their meet, they both said a formal yes and then began their telephonic/sms/whatsapp conversations. Through the conversations, S discovered that she was much different from what he had thought of her in their first meeting. It might have been the same scenario on the girl's side as well. Within few days of formal yes, the engagement was called off citing some strange(and not actual) reasons.
Another cousin of mine, V, got married to his girlfriend R, nearly four years back. They both worked and lived in NCR and visited V's parents(who lived in Delhi) during weekends. Few months back V's mother passed away in an accident. After his mother's death, V had to look after his father and younger brother. Therefore he decided to shift back to Delhi. However, this decision didn't go down very well with R. She was not ready to fulfill her responsibilities towards V's family. Currently they both are living separately and their marriage is on the verge of breaking.
From these two incidents, I inferred that Marriage is a Gamble. Seriously!! We cannot say that a marriage will be successful or not depending on whether it is arranged or love, at least not in today's times. In older days, people were not so demanding and readily compromised. However, the scenario is much different now. If we say that arranged marriages fail because the two people do not get enough time to know each other, then why do love marriages fail where two people take ample time to decide that they wish to become life partners??? Somehow, the process of judging the other person goes wrong that ultimately leads to a failed marriage. A simple(err... not really!!) question for married people: How should we judge the other person and be sure about him/her being the correct life partner for us? Can anyone answer?
This post is inspired by the post Fighting The Heavyweight by Sakshi Shioramwar. Yesterday when I read this post, a thought was bugging me. I tried to distract myself by engaging myself in some other activities or by thinking about other things. However, all my efforts failed. I kind of tortured myself by thinking more and more about something that was bugging me. I knew it was useless to worry about something that couldn't be changed or that was inevitable, but those thoughts got so entangled with my mind that I couldn't distract myself....
Such thoughts are like a voice in crowd,
The more we try to hear it,
The more our ears fail.
Such thoughts are like dark secrets,
The more we try to hide them,
The more they get unveiled.
Such thoughts are like tears,
The more we try to wipe them,
The more they fall.
Such thoughts are like bad memories,
The more we try to forget them,
The more we recall.
Such thoughts are like sand,
The more we try to hold it,
The more it slips.
Such thoughts are like pulse,
The more we try to feel it,
The more it skips.
We should let the pulse skip,
We should let the sand slip,
Because the more we think,
The more the heart sinks,
The more we run away,
The more such thoughts weigh....
n 6 billion people...
& We still met!! There must be something special!!
We come across a lot of people in our day to day lives. Very few of them become an integral and inseparable part of our lives. They are called friends. When we enter this world, the only relations that we bring with ourselves are the blood relations, the relations that are predesignated even before we enter this world. However, we make friends by our own choice, and that's what makes friendship special. We do not even realize how an unknown person becomes our closest friend, how that person promises to be our companion during our good and bad times, how that person becomes so trustworthy that we feel comfortable while sharing our secrets with him/her. I feel extremely lucky to have met some really wonderful people during different phases of my life, be it childhood, schooling, college or work. Sometimes I wonder what if I hadn't met these people!! Who would laugh with me, who would cry with me, who would poke fun at my stupidities, who would snatch my lunch box, who would disturb my sleep by calling me at odd hours, who would leave new pinch marks on my arms, who would send funny messages, who would get involved in my mischiefs, who would surprise me on my birthday, who would celebrate my success, who would motivate me during failure.. etc etc, and most importantly, who would call me a FRIEND... In short, Friends make our lives exciting and worth living!! A few words for my friends...
I don't want a lavish meal alone,
I would rather have street food with you,
I don't want a reason to smile alone,
I would rather face my troubles with you,
I don't want a lonely holiday,
I would rather attend boring lectures with you,
I don't want hundred false compliments,
I would rather enjoy honest criticism from you,
I don't want expensive gifts,
I just want a little promise from you,
The promise to be my friend always, Come what may!!
When we make a painting, we try to make it colourful by filling different colours. Some colours are used more while some are used less. However, the painting remains incomplete without any of them. Friends are like colours. In today's fast and busy life, it's a bit difficult to keep in touch with all of them. I might not be in touch with all the friends I have made during different phases of my life, but I truly remember and miss each one of them. I would conclude with a line from a beautiful song by KK.. Yaaron... Dosti... Badi hi haseen hai, Ye naa ho to, kya fir, bolo ye zindagi hai.. Happy Friendship Day to all!! :-)