Equality between Unequals

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It's new year! It's the time to celebrate, make new resolutions and write some new chapters of life. Sadly, this new year began on a shameful note for all of us. The mass molestation incident of Bengaluru was all over the news on 1st January 2017. Several politicians and celebrities expressed their views and opinions over this incident. Some were angry, some were shocked, some blamed women and their "wrong" dressing styles, etc etc.

While reading all the statements and articles I thought, what is it that motivates/instigates/compels men to attack the dignity of women? The simple answer is, even in 21st century, men consider women to be inferior to them. One would not think of doing this to someone at par(or superior) with oneself. So what's the cause of superiority complex among men? 

Let's go back to a man's childhood. As a child, he sees his mother taking care of the household chores. She cooks, makes sure the dishes are washed, makes sure the clothes are ironed, takes care of the cleaning. etc. On the other hand, the father sits like a king, giving orders and judgments. "Give me my breakfast", "Press my shirt", "Where are my socks", etc. Father orders, mother complies, and hence it implies. He notices that people jump in excitement on the birth of a boy, and console each other on the birth of a girl. Hence, it implies. He sees that his parents ask his sister to avoid going out late night, to learn basic household chores like cooking etc. However, no such instructions are given to him. No such restrictions are imposed on him. Hence, it implies. When he becomes a working professional, he notices his female counterparts are paid less despite being on the same position as him. Hence, it implies. In his journey of becoming a man from a boy, he sees numerous examples which highlight the inequality between men and women. And hence, he starts thinking of himself as a superior species. We are collectively responsible for inculcating this superiority complex among men, from their childhood itself! Therefore, simply condemning such incidents is not going to take us anywhere. We must teach our little boys that men and women are equals.

How about a scenario where a boy sees his mother cleaning the house and father lending a helping hand? How about sometimes mother bringing the breakfast and sometimes the father? How about both parents working and earning their livelihoods(which already happens nowadays)? How about people being equally excited about birth of a girl or a boy? How about parents teaching their sons how to treat and respect women?

Give it a thought...

Our first drive...

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Continuing further from "First(actually second) conversation..."


As me and M started walking towards his car, there was silence... and peace... 
"I know it's gonna be tough for you for gel with my family members. They are quite loud", M said. "Thanks for confirming my fears", I said to myself. For an introvert person like me, it's quite difficult to feel comfortable among a new set of people. Gelling part comes next. I had to overcome the comfort part first. "Do you know the way to Hori Lal", M asked me. "Yes offcourse. It's nearby", I said and we both sat in the car. It was our second meeting and things had unexpectedly and drastically changed between our two meetings. I had still not come to terms with the fact that the person sitting next to me was going to be my life partner. Hence, I couldn't come up with something meaningful to start a conversation with M. The car moved, and there was an awkward silence. "Go straight and take a right turn from the T-point", I said in order to break the awkward silence. "Ya sure", M said. "Now we need to go straight and take the first left. Hori lal is right there", I said. In no time we reached Hori Lal. Others were still on the way and reached around ten minutes later. "How come you guys reached so early! We were hoping you would take a longer route to have some alone time", M's cousin said. That thought hadn't even crossed my mind. "Maybe you guys should go out for coffee or something", someone said. "It's already quite late and tomorrow is a working day. We'll go some other time", I said. We all spent around 10-15 minutes at Hori Lal, said goodbyes to each other, and started walking towards our respective cars. As I was walking towards my car along with my cousins, they whispered, "Go back and say bye to M". Hesitantly, I turned around. M was standing a few steps away. So I walked towards him. We shook hands followed by an awkward, distant side-hug and said goodbye to each other. The night ended, but the thoughts didn't. Next important task was meeting M's parents. It was Monday, and I was supposed to meet them on Saturday i.e. five days later.

Another big question that was continuously crossing my mind was : When and how will I fall in love with M?

To be continued....